Notes on Love – New Borne

1st May 2016

S2620030Look into a baby’s eyes. Look into a young child’s eyes. Now look into your eyes. In this moment, what do you see? What has happened to you? What has happened to the baby, to the child that you once were?

People often talk about babies and young children as “Angels”. People see something special and precious in them that they idealize, because they have lost touch with it themselves. So what happened?

The lights went out, that is what happened. When you look into a baby’s eyes you see complete openness and trust. You seen an unconditional relationship with you, the beholder. The baby has not learnt to exercise discretion in who he or she opens to; instead a baby is open to everything. This trust and openness lights up a baby’s eyes – when you see that light in a child’s eyes you see the light of his or her soul. Now look again at your eyes in the mirror – does the light of your soul illuminate your eyes?

This is an unfair question because it plays to our inherent doubt about ourselves, so in contemplating my question you may shut yourself off from your own light. Be assured that the light is there inside of you. It shows itself throughout the day – flashes of light as you move through the day and your life: feeling; thinking; doing – all acts of being. Each moment moves through the filter of your awareness and your inner light is allowed to shine more or less according to your sense of who you are in that moment. If something resonates with you, then you show more of who you are and open up. If you feel uncomfortable then you withdraw. Alternatively, you may anaesthetize yourself from the difficult feelings that you experience from others or from inside of yourself.

So what is it that holds back your inner light? Imagine that the light of a baby is like the light of the sun: it shines brightly and unconditionally. Every moment of experience that he or she has is either an affirmation of the unconditional love within that baby, or it isn’t. When the baby has a contradictory experience, it creates an internal dissonance and a contraction of the light within. These dissonant experiences, if sufficiently strong for the individual concerned, inhibit¬†some of our light so that the brightness of our consciousness (our internal sun) is dimmed somewhat. It is like we place a screen or a filter between our sun and the world around us. we do this because our openness to give and receive love is also an openness to experience hurt and pain. Sometimes this hurt and pain belongs to others and we just feel it; sometimes that hurt and pain is inflicted directly on us. So we learn to hide our light from the world because this insulates us ¬†and makes us feel safer. But in doing so, we keep ourselves from the world also. Over time, this survival tactic (often developed at a young age) becomes a way of being and a strategy for life. As adults, we have to decide whether this is who we want to be? Does it still serve us?

We all have this internal sun and it is the light of our soul. How it shines, where it shines, and whether it shines at all in our lives is up to us. When we shine our light, we feel more alive, more fulfilled and more in the flow of ourselves and life. We benefit, the world benefits, and the people who matter most to us benefit. This is because love is more present in these moments – our light is our love, and vice versa. When we live in fear, then we are heavier, tense, and frustrated because we are not in the flow of ourselves. We try to fix these things by surrounding ourselves with external comforts or sources of security. These externalisations of our fear and discomfort frustrate us even more because they do not address the problem within.

Over time we can find understanding for why we hold ourselves back. We can see ourselves more clearly and know how we got to this place. This awareness and clarity is very important, because it starts to dissolve the barriers between our experience of ourselves and our light. There is an important tipping point at this point: as the barriers dissolve part of us becomes fearful of the light within. The part of us that grew accustomed to living in darkness is now fearful of the light, Stepping fully into that light: being it; living it; and opening to it unconditionally is a challenge. It is like being born, but this time we are not defenceless or vulnerable because we are rediscovering our true selves as an adult. So step back into the sunshine of your own soul; it was there all the time waiting for you.

 

 

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